Nov 032016

[The title is an homage to “No more mutants.” Yes, I am still a nerd.]

It’s not that I don’t like introverts. Some of my best friends are introverts… and that’s precisely the problem. Far too many of my good friends are introverts at this point. I can think of about 5 without breaking a sweat.

Contrary to popular belief, I’m not 100% extroverted. If you have me take a Myers-Briggs or similar type of test, and “pure introversion” is all the way left, and “pure extroversion” is all the way to the right, I’m somewhere between 2/3 and 3/4 of the way to the right. So I’m decidedly more extroverted than introverted, but I’m not so extroverted that I, too, can’t be overwhelmed by too much social contact. It’s just that I figure for me, significant social contact (hanging out with someone) would ideally happen 4 or 5 days a week on average, but I can handle it 7 days a week for a bit before I need to recharge. The problem is that I have no partner, I belong to no clubs or organizations, so when I leave work (and work socializing is fine but in general not sufficient in terms of my closeness to people there or the amount of time I can squeeze into coffee or lunch to satisfy that much of my weekly requirement), all I have on my hands is time to myself.

So I’m maybe averaging 3 days a week in a good year of meaningful, sustaining social contact—and that is just not enough.

And introverted friends? They are not good at helping improve that figure. And the situation is only compounded by the fact that, in terms of The 5 Love Languages, mine is—you guessed it—quality time. That is, I feel most loved/honoured/appreciated when people are willing to spend quality time with me. So it’s hard a lot of the time to feel like my introverted friends really cherish me, because how I most easily recognize love is in the way that is hardest for them to give it… or basically, I couldn’t have picked a more draining way for them to show me appreciation.

But it’s frustrating because there’s this sense that it’s in some ways a terrible fit… yet with two exceptions, my closest, most cherished friends are at least as close to the “introversion” end of the scale as I am to the “extroversion” side. I know opposites are supposed to attract and all, but geez…

Okay, so obviously I need to work on at least some uplifting daily blog postings…


  2 Responses to “No More Introverts!”

  1. Why don’t you join an organization? You could join the board of a non-profit, for example. Or there’s tonnes of groups on Meetup. You might even meet other extroverts!

  2. I can understand the frustration. Introverts can be the worst. (Said the introvert.) In terms of the love languages/quality time thing…I am considering participating in this NaBloPoMo challenge with you “quality time”. 🙂

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